A is for …

A is for awe at the longevity of her insights and her way with words. No longer able to write, I share her former writing glories here once in a while. This from 1994…

A is for Alienation.

" ... Till alienation does us part," the final sentence of the marrying couple's vows, sounded committedly uncommitted.

Old Auntie Grace, personification of upward mobility through tenacious economic growth, pronounced the happy couple a couple of fools. "They should enjoy life, money, freedom... ” I agreed with her for different reasons: the bride was too bright to waste herself on this plasticinoid male, the groom too ambitious for a serious attachment to anybody. Why didn't they just share a home and maybe a bed for a little while? No need to marry.

It was the change in the ancient ritual words that intrigued me.

Why parting through alienation instead of death?

Science is working on postponing and eventually revoking death, but do we already need a substitute for an inconvenience not yet conquered?

Alienation stands for estrangement, withdrawal. The change from a positive attitude toward an in-different, even hostile position. In its worst form it represents a psychological disorder.

Why mention alienation as the final straw for breaking a sacred union?

In the beginning we, human primates in our primeval societies, formed groups sharing food, shelter, tools, views. Without questioning we belonged to our group till death did us part, which, of course, was rather soon. We were the group, the group was us, safest haven amidst the mysterious ways of life.

The sole purpose of our harsh lives was to cooperate within our group, to continue and obey life and death. None of us could imagine any other way of doing things. Progress was still unknown, thus un-pursued.

Not really familiar with continuous hunger, cold or existential fear, I, citizen of the Western world, can easily dismiss the above 'primeval group story' as a nostalgic or even nonsensical spiel.

During the past few centuries Western men (yes, males) have fundamentally changed world views and opinions about humankind. So-called rationalism has become fashionable, mysteries and sacredness have become questionable.

Everything is to be logically explained, measured and ordered. If it does not fit, it does not exist. The rational brain has become our venerated master.

Having 'progressed' immensely, we are busy building mazes so gigantic, we cannot grasp them. We are taking on tasks so diminutive, we cannot perceive a purpose. We have lost touch, we are alienated from ourselves, each other and the surrounding world.

The pervasive gloom of alienation, of non-belonging! Imaginative master brains, our revered leaders, cater to those helpless feelings through the invention of personalized mass soothers.

By creating a never-ending series of hunts for new personal needs, freedoms and rights, superior brains divide, combine and redivide the population. The fighters can continue to fight, the restless are kept on their toes, the seekers loaded with quests. Loyalties and groups are never stable, only busy.

Our primeval group is gone but our primeval hunt is still on. Fiercer than ever it seems.

No longer satisfied with a basic phone, communicators go after a touch-tone, an answering machine, a call-screener, a calling card. Mistrusting their representatives, voters pursue the right of re-call, freedom of information, open meetings. In turn, governments hire polling co-ordinators to keep track of the fancies of the electorate and every other interest group. Those with lost or neglected inner children, have to trace them immediately. Growing old, we have to catch the process before it runs out of hand. We are very busy, there is always another worthwhile pursuit.

Most of us live anti-social and unprotected lives. Withdrawn, isolated in competitive individualism and materialism without an all-embracing group, we have come to doubt everyone and everything — today's friend could be tomorrow's enemy, today's toy tomorrow's garbage.

Love yourself, help yourself, nobody does it better.

Alienation, a spin-off from brain glorification, has enshrined itself in our heads. Left unchecked, it becomes a cancer overgrowing our still deified grey matter.

Back to the couple that designated alienation as the potentially ultimate break-up of their union: Soon they got their individual freedom back. She joined a support group for eating disorders, he teamed up with men wanting to re-discover themselves - thoroughly modern persons entering their next thoroughly modern bonds. In time, when their objectives have been realized, they will move on again.