Mistakes
By me and Moi. In September of 2016 the topic was ‘mistakes’. In November 2025 I found these mistakenly while searching for some other treasure. Please enjoy two perspectives: mine and hers.
Looking back. Even then, September 2016, there were signs of my mother’s cognitive decline. Her writing wasn’t as crisp. Her ideas not as clever. In this challenge she gives hints of her own awareness on the matter. It even includes an uncharacteristic (and unironic) spelling mistake.
Mistake, as I explain in my contribution, had been my suggestion, though not my vote. In 2016 I was full of recriminations and cringes at my mother. With the benefit of hindsight I can now see that as my ‘need to be right era’. I have since learned my mother genuinely believed what I now know were her confabulations. What can I say, other than that mistakes were made? And of course they still are. Such is the way with us humans.
Without further ado, please enjoy these two takes, mistakes and all, on mistakes from the fault (mistake intended).
Me:
“Perfection bores.” That’s what my mother says. I agree. As I become older, the simple truth of that claim instills in me both comfort and compassion. Life is inherently riddled with mistakes. Our very existence is but a blip on a continuum of mistakes. The essence of life is mistakes; from tiny little mutations on the smallest scale, to collective lapses of judgment with far-reaching consequences. Only rocks don’t make mistakes.
As I begin this attempt at 500 words, I am nearly paralyzed by an inner voice telling me “this topic was a mistake” and “you shouldn’t have started so late” and “you shouldn’t have started this now because we have to leave the house in 30 minutes”. I’m further distracted when I think back on the week and the mistakes of others that injured or annoyed me. Remembrances of my own mistakes of the week are another source of distraction.
Who suggested this word anyway?! It was me. The suggestion was inspired by accidentally hitting reply-all to our avid writers with ‘surprise’. Ah, the meta-ness of it all. For what it’s worth, I voted for ‘toothbrush’. So then, fundamentally, to me, life is about recovering from mistakes. What interests me is how we recover. Digging one layer deeper is a core value of interestedness. Cultivating a deliberate state of ‘how interesting’ has been my survival thriving strategy.
Mistakes, I believe, are unavoidable. We all make them. Better to develop a strategy that accommodates mistakes, than relying on an assumption of no-mistakes. Inevitably, we’re all subjected to mistakes - either of our own doing or someone else! In addition to ‘how interesting’, I recommend adopting an adaptable, resilient, and creative mindset asis good insurance against mistakes.
Ultimately, decisions are a rich source of mistakes.
Let’s look at a particular kind source of mistake-making: decision making. I’m fascinated by the idea that the quality of a decision is not its outcome, but rather the process leading up to the decision. First, consider that a poorly formed decision topic is doomed. “Baby in the blender or the microwave?”. The mistake there would be to answer the question. Asking good questions is the first step in making good decisions. Even if it’s not possible to broaden the frame of a question, I believe just awareness to the potential of unintended outcomes in ‘either or’ scenarios, loads the dice ever so slightly in the decision-maker’s favour.
Decision sciences. It’s an entire discipline, complete with all manner of accreditation. I’ll leave that for another 500 word burst. For now, dear avid writers, l implore you to consider carefully your next decision of our next word. Is it possible to make a mistake in our choice? | doubt it.
PS yes, I deliberately activated ‘track changes’ to provide a glimpse into my bare bones editing. Oh the meta-ness of it.
Moi:
Mistakes
Mistakes, those of others and my own -- endlessly thinking about them, re-classifying them, re-living their warm accompanying flush -- one of my favorite pastimes!
I definitely have never suffered from atychiphobia,
I recall my parents and teachers indoctrinating me that if I didn’t make mistakes, I would not grow wise(r). (Did l want to become ‘ wise(r)’, did I at that time understand what ‘wise(r)’ implied?)
I soon discovered that I became wonderfully powerful when I made simple ‘mistakes’: I could evoke adult outbursts of anger incontinence, yelling at me, dismissing me, hot-tempered freedom...
Yes, for a while I felt indomitable when triomphantly faking stupid mistakes.
Of course, much later in life, being a well-informed, contemporary(?) mother and teacher, I had mastered the modern ins and outs of mistakes...
My children and students recognized my forgiving smiles and felt free to act in accordance with their personal ‘spur-of-the-moment’ mistakes.
We are now allowed to give ourselves and others permision to think of mistakes in terms of progress, not perfection. We accept that we will learn from them, that the majority of our mistakes are unworhty of much thought...
Being a perfectionist is out! Eliminate your mistake anxiety which results in more mistakes, second-rate performances shrinking your focus on improvement...
We realise that a culture centered on mistake prevention and correction does not lead to knowledge and skill development. We free ourselves from pursuits of status and prestige.
Our new mantra is: ‘Find the courage to be imperfect, an accepted social value for us all.
Freedom for the imperfect self!’
The ‘paradox of aging’ -- although now also officially qualified as one of our past mistakes -- is at present generously hitting me: I am allowed to freely harvest my delight via ordinary and extra-ordinary experiences. Of course, my physical health and cognitive abilitives are definitely in decline -- but my stress managing skills are majestically improving!
Without much ado I can handle most of my own numerous mistakes. And, bonus: never before did human mistakes fascinate me this much!
At this point in time, what could astonish me more than closely following the political activities of the two US presidential candidates Clinton and Trump? Count their grave and not so grave mistakes?
For example, take mrs Clinton’s words re her mistake of using her personal email server during her Secretary of State job. How grandiloquently did she show her true colors by saying, ‘I’m sorry this caused me such grief’, meaning, I would guess, ‘I am sorry I did this’...?
And let’s never forget ‘the Donald’ with his tireless adaptation of his inconsistent and screwy plans -- freedom from all potential mistakes via his clever slogan ‘I am not ruling out anything’.
Yes, in my own old age, I clearly understand ancient poet Alexander Pope (1688-1744): ‘To err is human -- to forgive divine’.
Forgiveness of mistakes is above all a liberating gift to yourself: building competence to move on with your life.